Stable mates

I am confronted today with the age-old dilemma that is letting a close friend ride your beloved horse. I have several good friends, all of who are fairly novice as riders. The problem is that it is certainly good fun riding with others, and it makes sense to call over a companion to hack out with, until it becomes clearly obvious that even though with an able rider on board the Irish Cob is a thorough gentleman, with the Nervous Novice it is a completely different story.

The Nervous Novice comes in several different forms. First of all there is the Giggler. The Giggler laughs nervously almost constantly. She fiddles with the reins and jiggles her heels about, sending the Irish Cob into a fury. She also fidgets with the edge of the numnah with one hand, whilst twiddling with her hair, or her hat strap, or scratching her nose with the other. The Giggler rides in a floppy manner with flapping reins and over-long stirrups. Yet somehow, what ever desperate plan the Irish Cob cooks up in an attempt to unseat her, she seems to be able to centre her balance so that she never falls. In fact, despite all her faults, the only serious harm the Giggler can do is irritate the Cob to the point where he actually gives up, and behaves like a lamb for the rest of the ride.

Far, far worse than the Giggler is the Squeaker. The Squeaker does not, in fact, seem to enjoy riding at all, yet insists she does, and so the pantomime starts. The Squeaker is afraid of everything. She yelps out in fear when the Cob so much as rests a hind legs whilst we wait for her to actually gather up the confidence to ask him to walk on. She quakes in her solid, iron capped and cushion heeled jodhpur boots when he flinches as a fly lands on him, and she gets the shakes if he jogs a couple of steps to catch up with the leggy Wayward Child of a horse that I try to keep in pace beside her with the plan that I may be able to catch her before she hits the ground when the fear gets too much. The actual squeaking starts when she insists that she is capable of jumping the Cob in the school. Over every fence, the peace of the countryside is shattered with an ear-piercing shriek as the Irish Cob steps over the four inch cross-pole I have worriedly put down for her. Interestingly though, the Squeaker's real danger is her riding (and the possibility of being sued by the whole of Suffolk for perforated ear drums) She can do no harm to the horse as he just plods along in his merry way, and in fact, when it comes to handling the Cob on the ground, she is the most efficient out of all the Nervous Novices. I have decided in the case of the Squeaker, more fun can be had by bathing and plaiting the horses than actually riding them.

However, worst of all Nervous Novices is the Deluded Gung-Ho. The Deluded Gung-Ho is under the impression that he can ride any horse that comes his way. He can handle the stroppy stallions, he knows how to deal with the snappy Shetland Pony, and he is under no doubt that he is actually doing me a favour by riding the Irish Cob from time to time. This confidence is made all the more unbearable by the fact that he is the worst rider out of all three of the Nervous Novices. In fact, he can hardly even be described as a Nervous Novice as his confidence puts him in a league of his own. The Cob has no idea of how to deal with him. I can see the perplexion in his eyes when the Deluded Gung-Ho remounts him yet again, after being unseated for the sixty-second time in an hour. Whatever trick he tries, nothing the Cob can do unnerves the Deluded Gung-Ho, and as a result, he gets more and more worked up as the ride goes on. The main problem with the Deluded Gung-Ho is not just the stress he is putting on my horse, but the injuries he does to himself. The Deluded Gung-Ho has broken countless fingers, two ribs and a leg as a result of his many falls, and even fractured his skull when he came to close behind the Wayward Child, despite my many warnings. For some reason I feel responsible for this.

However, having considered all of my Nervous Novices, I have come to the conclusion that at least they all have some potential. In fact, if you took the amazing balancing feats of the Giggler, the natural horsemanship on the ground of the Squeaker, and Deluded Gung-Ho's unshakeable confidence, then you would have the ingredients for a Horseman, or at the very least, an Able Rider.

I won't give up on my stable mates. The Giggler does at least genuinely enjoy riding, and whilst the Squeaker is too nervous to accurately describe in words, she tries ever so hard, and wouldn't give up horses for the world. Deluded Gung-Ho will always be up for a ride, and hopefully under the influence of the other two, he will tone down his ego. I hope everyone else is lucky enough to have some great mates to ride with, whether they are, like mine, Nervous Novices, or whether they fit more under the category of Experienced Horse People. Have fun riding in company this summer!